An Open Letter to the Church

Perhaps it is fitting on Mother's Day to post this letter regarding the recent events in our household. I hope that living out our lives in a transparent fashion will serve to help along our healing process and hopefully edify those with whom we travel through life. In the book of James it is written:

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

Dear friends and family at Bay West,

By now it will be readily apparent that Shannon and I are not present with you at church this Sunday. I asked Jim to permit me to write this letter to you to dispel any rumors and hopefully encourage you as well.

Let me first say that we do not harbor any ill feelings towards Bay West Church and remain committed to the vision for Palm Bay that the community of believers at Bay West seeks to fulfill. We do not wish our withdrawal to convey a sense of bitterness or antagonism towards anyone who has, is, or will serve at Bay West and would that our present circumstances did not lead us down the path we have taken.

With all my heart I believe it was God’s will for us to serve at Bay West and I cannot fully express how sweet our time among you has been to me. Yet our household has not been unanimous in our decision to serve at Bay West. We DO NOT discount the family ties we have built with Bay West; however, within the last twelve months we have endured the collapse of a family business, the departure of our closest friends, unemployment, the foreclosure of our house and imminent move, the death of a father, shortfalls in income, rifts in family relationships, a change in churches and ministries, and a dramatic change in our roles of service to our God. It would be decidedly inauthentic to tell you we have born these changes well.

Shannon has endured a struggle with God and those around her like she has never before faced. I, Paul, have struggled with the highest highs and lowest lows I have yet confronted. The Bible says, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.” (1 Corinthians 10:12) In both of our cases, we each thought and assumed we were on good standing before God and before man. In both cases, we have fallen before God and before man.

Shannon has struggled with her submission to God and the redefinition of her place of service in the church. In many ways her battle has been present before all. My battle has largely been hidden before your faces, but my family has borne the brunt of my failure. I have not obeyed the commandment towards husbands to, “love your wife as Christ loved the church and game Himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) I have seen my family as an obstacle to be overcome, a stumbling block to be leveled, and as a problem to be dealt with and summarily “fixed.” It is not that I just have not properly loved, but in many ways I now realize I do not yet know how to authentically love at all. I can serve, I can administrate, I can drive, I can execute, but I do not love. I have become that person the Apostle Paul warned about in 1 Corinthians 13: a noisy gong, a clanging symbol, . . . nothing.

The book of Proverbs says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Proverbs 25:28) The “city” of our family life and our marriage is like that devastated and plundered city. We cannot live a lie before you any longer and need to take a step back for rebuilding, recovering, and learning again what it means to be husband and wife before the LORD.

We apologize to you and ask for your forgiveness for any way we have caused you to stumble or have given you ought against us. We desperately covet your prayers for our love towards each other, towards God, towards the Church, and for the revitalization of our marriage and our family. I will continue to pray for you and ask,

That God will give you complete knowledge of his will, that He will give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, that the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and that your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. We pray that all the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better, and that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. We pray that you may be filled with joy, always thanking the Father, for He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to His people, who live in the light. For He has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of His beloved Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave us our sins. To Him be the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Your Brother and Sister in Christ,

Paul & Shannon